The doctor is back from vacation and things have started popping up on the appointment calendar. We now have a date to head to Houston: September 12th. Pray for clarity and skill for the surgeons, as well as peace and wisdom for us as we move toward this surgery and make decisions for whatever follows.
Today during staff meeting at school, many of T's teachers took the time to intentionally assure us of their prayers. They are such a wonderful group of quality educators and are truly committed to Christ and each other. We believe that God is at work, even in this kind of situation... maybe especially in this kind of situation. He knows where we are and what we need, so we rest in Him, trust Him for the unknowns (and there seem to be plenty of those!), and delight in the knowledge that He is not surprised by any of this.
Now to finish the planning for our substitute teachers... bless them!
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Life and string
Nothing quite like being at the end of the string... the yo-yo string. We are still waiting for definite dates for our Houston trip and surgery. It has been September 1, then the 15th, then the 22nd, then back to 15... hope we find out in time to get flight plans made!
In all of this, we are trying to be sure we're ready for school and well prepared for those who will take our places for the couple of weeks that we will be gone. Both of us are teaching as well as T working the admin responsibilities. He chose this year to teach a Bible class that will provide concurrent university credit. Of course he did... never fails right? This whole thing can get rather crazy, trying to figure out what is the right thing to do and exactly when to do it. Through this process, we have reconnected with people from our past, people who are suffering far more than we, who have traveled this road repeatedly, people who find themselves in rather dire circumstances. It is a specific society of maimed citizens who have been cut, poisoned, burned - to be cured. A society of the truly needy. Citizens who understand each other completely. And we have so much to learn from them and maybe an opportunity to help as well.
Among my readings each morning is an Irish Jesuit web-site: Sacred Space. My daughter-in-law's younger sister mentioned it in her blog several years ago and it has become a real go-to place for me. This week, the writer refers to what Jesus is doing as he heals and what he learns from those to whom He ministers, like this:
"... most movingly, Jesus’s own human consciousness is challenged and stretched by a complete outsider, the courageous Canaanite woman, whose little daughter is tormented by a devil. In his human consciousness, he learns from her something he had not fully grasped before - about the expansion of his ministry beyond the confines of Israel. As a result of her courage, after his initial hesitation he reaches out to her, and cures her little child. ‘You have great faith’, he says to her in utter admiration (Matthew 15:28). So, in my prayer of quiet, let me think of the strangers, the ‘different’ people I have encountered, who have perhaps challenged my faith perspective, and called me to look at things in a new way. Perhaps, in some of those meetings, God was especially coming to me, calling to me, expanding the horizons of my heart."
And so we think of the people we have encountered and pray that the Lord will be close to them. May He bring comfort and blessing, healing and wholeness. May He allow all of them to know Him more deeply and realize how very much He loves them. May they be blessed and healed, inside and out.
In all of this, we are trying to be sure we're ready for school and well prepared for those who will take our places for the couple of weeks that we will be gone. Both of us are teaching as well as T working the admin responsibilities. He chose this year to teach a Bible class that will provide concurrent university credit. Of course he did... never fails right? This whole thing can get rather crazy, trying to figure out what is the right thing to do and exactly when to do it. Through this process, we have reconnected with people from our past, people who are suffering far more than we, who have traveled this road repeatedly, people who find themselves in rather dire circumstances. It is a specific society of maimed citizens who have been cut, poisoned, burned - to be cured. A society of the truly needy. Citizens who understand each other completely. And we have so much to learn from them and maybe an opportunity to help as well.
Among my readings each morning is an Irish Jesuit web-site: Sacred Space. My daughter-in-law's younger sister mentioned it in her blog several years ago and it has become a real go-to place for me. This week, the writer refers to what Jesus is doing as he heals and what he learns from those to whom He ministers, like this:
"... most movingly, Jesus’s own human consciousness is challenged and stretched by a complete outsider, the courageous Canaanite woman, whose little daughter is tormented by a devil. In his human consciousness, he learns from her something he had not fully grasped before - about the expansion of his ministry beyond the confines of Israel. As a result of her courage, after his initial hesitation he reaches out to her, and cures her little child. ‘You have great faith’, he says to her in utter admiration (Matthew 15:28). So, in my prayer of quiet, let me think of the strangers, the ‘different’ people I have encountered, who have perhaps challenged my faith perspective, and called me to look at things in a new way. Perhaps, in some of those meetings, God was especially coming to me, calling to me, expanding the horizons of my heart."
And so we think of the people we have encountered and pray that the Lord will be close to them. May He bring comfort and blessing, healing and wholeness. May He allow all of them to know Him more deeply and realize how very much He loves them. May they be blessed and healed, inside and out.
Monday, August 15, 2011
The Best Medicine
Our two sons gave us the best medicine last week. The younger son lives in France with his beautiful little family. Last weekend, our daughter-in-law's brother was married, so her family all converged on Chicago for the wedding. We were also invited, and thanks to the older son who travels a lot with his work, we were able to be there too. Although it was just a long weekend, spending those few days with our kids and the two grandchildren was such a blessing. Our last time together was during Christmas break. We laughed so hard and smiled so much that our jaws hurt! And that's a good thing!
Today T worked on getting the PET scan results to our Houston doctor. Our medical team here had faxed them but they didn't arrive at the Houston clinic. It is possible that the fax number they were given was actually for the doctor's university office but T decided to fax them again just to be sure. After chatting with the nurse today (Dr. E is on vacation) we learned that the surgery will probably be later in September than what we initially thought. It's difficult to get all the proper people lined up and ready to demonstrate their gifts at the same time. So we're waiting - because that's the next step - surgery. We are really quite hopeful that this is a tiny, totally isolated batch of cells, so small that maybe the biopsy got all of them. Oh wouldn't that be nice! But even if not...
Oswald Chambers hit it on the head again in last Friday's reading: "When we are afraid, the least we can do is pray to God. But our Lord has a right to expect that those who name His name have an underlying confidence in Him. God expects His children to be so confident in Him that in any crisis they are the ones who are reliable. If we have been learning to worship God and to place our trust in Him, the crisis will reveal that we can go to the point of breaking, yet without breaking our confidence in Him."
That's who we want to be, totally confident in God's sovereign ability to deal with this moment in our lives. We want the Lord, not this trial, to define us throughout our lives, but especially now. So we rest... in Him.
Today T worked on getting the PET scan results to our Houston doctor. Our medical team here had faxed them but they didn't arrive at the Houston clinic. It is possible that the fax number they were given was actually for the doctor's university office but T decided to fax them again just to be sure. After chatting with the nurse today (Dr. E is on vacation) we learned that the surgery will probably be later in September than what we initially thought. It's difficult to get all the proper people lined up and ready to demonstrate their gifts at the same time. So we're waiting - because that's the next step - surgery. We are really quite hopeful that this is a tiny, totally isolated batch of cells, so small that maybe the biopsy got all of them. Oh wouldn't that be nice! But even if not...
Oswald Chambers hit it on the head again in last Friday's reading: "When we are afraid, the least we can do is pray to God. But our Lord has a right to expect that those who name His name have an underlying confidence in Him. God expects His children to be so confident in Him that in any crisis they are the ones who are reliable. If we have been learning to worship God and to place our trust in Him, the crisis will reveal that we can go to the point of breaking, yet without breaking our confidence in Him."
That's who we want to be, totally confident in God's sovereign ability to deal with this moment in our lives. We want the Lord, not this trial, to define us throughout our lives, but especially now. So we rest... in Him.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
PET results
The PET scan results were posted on T's web account and talk about confusing! No mention of cancer that he could see. This could be a good thing, or it could be that it's hiding, or it could be that we don't have the whole picture. I've decided that I'm going to let the medical people figure it out because my little brain just cannot seem to keep up with this roller coaster ride!
Yesterday, Dr. E's nurse called and she must have said I don't know at least four times. We prefer when doctors and nurses know - but we will deal with the don't knows for now.
Tomorrow we fly to Chicago to spend a long weekend with our children from France. We cannot wait to see them, to focus our attention on adorable red-headed, high-energy, little beings who make us laugh like crazy. Laughter is good for the soul, and we plan to get some soul care with this much-loved little family.
Please keep praying with us for God to be glorified... in what we think we know and what we're sure we don't know.
Yesterday, Dr. E's nurse called and she must have said I don't know at least four times. We prefer when doctors and nurses know - but we will deal with the don't knows for now.
Tomorrow we fly to Chicago to spend a long weekend with our children from France. We cannot wait to see them, to focus our attention on adorable red-headed, high-energy, little beings who make us laugh like crazy. Laughter is good for the soul, and we plan to get some soul care with this much-loved little family.
Please keep praying with us for God to be glorified... in what we think we know and what we're sure we don't know.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Another Test
It was a good thing my hubby called radiology and chatted their ears off the other day. He kind of talked them into reserving a spot for him on Tuesday's appointment calendar so when the properly worded/formed order came in for his scan, there was a time-frame reserved for him. He received the call Monday morning that he would have a PET scan on Tuesday afternoon, the only day of the week that this can be done within our network. Our beloved Houston doctor really wanted this test done ahead of September's surgery. I say September because that's about all we know right now. We're hoping for some time around the middle of the month; we'll see what she is able to work out. Anyway... if you have nothing to pray about on Tuesday afternoon around 2 - 4 o'clock (Pacific Time), you could pray for T as he goes through this scan with all kinds of dyes/contrasts pumped into his body. "Consider it all joy..."
Friday, August 5, 2011
Complexities
Sometimes being thorough breeds a bit of fear. I'm in the process of committing and recommitting our situation to the Lord. Yesterday, while I drove to Panera to have lunch with friends from Arkansas, T called MD Anderson to double check the PET scan order. Surgery was originally scheduled for September 1st - the second day of school - which could be difficult given the complexity of this year. MDA is in the process of trying to get it all rescheduled for September 15th. As T was talking with Dr. E.'s assistant, he learned that the reason it is so difficult is due to all the doctors who will be on stand-by during this surgery, including a neurologist. The reason for all the stand-by people is because T's doctor is the most thorough person on the face of the earth. I am convinced of this! But as the assistant listed the various specialists, I felt my heart racing a bit faster and a bit of pounding in my head. T didn't look so hot either.
We are well aware that T's case is exceptional, rare, difficult. And I guess we could deal with this better if we were the only two people involved. But we have children and grandchildren, students and colleagues, and we don't want to cause pain or become burden to any of them. We served as missionaries for our church for 25 years and once a missionary, always a missionary. Wherever we go, we believe that God has called us to be His voice. The method God the Father used to communicate His love and plan for salvation to the world was to send Jesus, God Himself in human form, into the world among other human beings. We believe that one method He uses to communicate His love for people in cancer centers is to send His people into those centers, sick and needy but willing to be His voice. So we go and we really want to go without worry or fear. And that's what we are praying. We go - to face whatever - but those left behind... oh Lord, please help them.
We are well aware that T's case is exceptional, rare, difficult. And I guess we could deal with this better if we were the only two people involved. But we have children and grandchildren, students and colleagues, and we don't want to cause pain or become burden to any of them. We served as missionaries for our church for 25 years and once a missionary, always a missionary. Wherever we go, we believe that God has called us to be His voice. The method God the Father used to communicate His love and plan for salvation to the world was to send Jesus, God Himself in human form, into the world among other human beings. We believe that one method He uses to communicate His love for people in cancer centers is to send His people into those centers, sick and needy but willing to be His voice. So we go and we really want to go without worry or fear. And that's what we are praying. We go - to face whatever - but those left behind... oh Lord, please help them.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
His Eye is on the Sparrow
Yesterday my relentless hubby contacted both doctors' offices to make sure someone called in the PET scan order. Last night, he received messages from both and they are on it! One of them should be able to make this happen! A good thing.
As life goes on, T is keeping very busy. We learned the last time around that it makes good sense to work hard; sleep comes easier that way. In May, my brother painted our house. We're so glad he did that job! Once finished, he left almost four gallons of paint so we could paint the shed. We took care of that last weekend and worked on several other projects as well. One of the projects was the bench at the top of our backyard hill. My mother gave it to us last summer; it had been sitting under a tarp in her carport. T took it apart and I painted it with the leftover house paint. We use what we have these days. On beautiful, sunny, summer mornings like today, T will take his coffee up to the top of the world (that's my name for that spot) and soak in the beauty of God's creation.
Here's the hillside:
This morning, as T sat drinking his coffee and gazing at the tall firs that surround our home, he noticed a tiny bird at the top of a little branch in a huge tree, surrounded by taller trees. At that moment, the Lord whispered into his heart and mind, "Remember, should that sparrow fall, I will know it. I know you. I know where you are, and I am here with you." As T recounted that moment to me, my eyes filled with tears. We know we are not alone. He will never leave us, never ignore us. Emails have come from around the world, reassuring us of prayers and support. We are so thankful; we are so blessed. For His eye is on the sparrow and we know He watches us as well.
As life goes on, T is keeping very busy. We learned the last time around that it makes good sense to work hard; sleep comes easier that way. In May, my brother painted our house. We're so glad he did that job! Once finished, he left almost four gallons of paint so we could paint the shed. We took care of that last weekend and worked on several other projects as well. One of the projects was the bench at the top of our backyard hill. My mother gave it to us last summer; it had been sitting under a tarp in her carport. T took it apart and I painted it with the leftover house paint. We use what we have these days. On beautiful, sunny, summer mornings like today, T will take his coffee up to the top of the world (that's my name for that spot) and soak in the beauty of God's creation.
Here's the hillside:
Here's the bench up closer:
And here's the view from the top of the world:
This morning, as T sat drinking his coffee and gazing at the tall firs that surround our home, he noticed a tiny bird at the top of a little branch in a huge tree, surrounded by taller trees. At that moment, the Lord whispered into his heart and mind, "Remember, should that sparrow fall, I will know it. I know you. I know where you are, and I am here with you." As T recounted that moment to me, my eyes filled with tears. We know we are not alone. He will never leave us, never ignore us. Emails have come from around the world, reassuring us of prayers and support. We are so thankful; we are so blessed. For His eye is on the sparrow and we know He watches us as well.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Being Pro-Active
We've been waiting for a phone call from our HMO to set an appointment for T's PET scan. When nothing came in today's mail and there was no phone call, my man called them... and found out that radiology has not received an order yet. It has to come from either the Houston doctor (who we are pretty sure is on vacation) or the Oly doctor (who may do it... we'll see) and it happens here only on Tuesdays. T talked someone into reserving a spot for him and will be calling our Oly doctor in the morning to see if he would call in the scan order. Oh the hoops and red tape and stuff... But we learned the last time around: the patient must take charge of his own medical care. That is, until we're in Houston, then that amazing doctor takes over and I mean to tell you, stuff gets done! So pray that we'll get the order for the scan in time to have it done next Tuesday.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Waiting
Does anyone else enjoy waiting as much as I don't? I am really quite an impatient person! Right now I'm waiting for the cable company to call so I can present my alternative 'deal' and get them to lower the bill. My husband is waiting for the HMO to call and schedule a PET scan... which means I'm waiting on that too. Here's what Oswald Chambers says about waiting:
Sulking, feeling sorry, do what we are told? Okay, okay... I get it!
“. . . tarry . . . until . . .” (Luke 24:49). “Wait on the Lord” and He will work (Psalm 37:34). But don’t wait sulking spiritually and feeling sorry for yourself, just because you can’t see one inch in front of you! Are we detached enough from our own spiritual fits of emotion to “wait patiently for Him”? (Psalm 37:7). Waiting is not sitting with folded hands doing nothing, but it is learning to do what we are told.
Sulking, feeling sorry, do what we are told? Okay, okay... I get it!
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